please don't go. it's like a death in the family.
go home?

23.08.2020, 09:43


my dads coffee is on the kitchen counter but the car is not there where the fuck are my parents
anyway
i think ill just draw because im stressed tm


24.08.2020, 15:56


i went to school today, but i dont want to go tomorrow. nutrition and health stresses me the fuck out. the first time i was in the school kitchen i left feeling bad about myself. my stomach hurts. my leg hurts and that makes it hard to walk. my head hurts. i feel sick.
yesterday my dad went to drive my mum to work. Huh!


25.08.2020, 07:35


not goin 2 school todae because we not feelin well
h*ck yea
also!!! im workin on a html file in notepad++ :) mostly just me playing around with html and css 2 improve my skills lol. anyway so at the end of the semester were going to digitally present an art project were workin on (that i will not specify). the teacher wants us to get creative with the way we present our work and she doesnt want a powerpoint presentation so maybe. just maybe. i could make another site here on neocities dot org :) unless someone else wants to do that too. in which case im evaporating

my journal page is sexy and its the first page i made without looking anything up (in the sense that i didnt know how to do somethin, that is, the wöbbly text is def not sumn id be able to do myself) im so proud of myself (hover)


26.08.2020, ???


didnt go to school today either. but tomorrow i will.
ill be arguing w my german teacher tomorrow morning. probably. he almost made me cry on the first week of school so uhh! Yeah! yeah


27.08.2020, ???


went to school. yaaaaaay. i didnt argue w my german teacher as there was nothing to argue about, but maybe...just maybe...tomorrow after lunch...
anyway.
i have programming after german tomorrow! this makes me very very happy as i love programming. we have a new programming teacher and shes so nice! ill admit, our previous teacher was kinda scary. he scared me to the point of me not wanting to attend the clæss, but now i feel much more comfortable.
15:40: i wish i could look like doomette


28.08.2020, 18:01


package arrived! i was excited until i opened the package, realising that they had sent me someone elses order. how the fuck do you fuck this up! the package was labled accordingly (with my name n shit), but the content of the package was for a man who apparently lives in sarpsborg (and i do not live in sarpsborg). i have contacted someone and am now waiting for a reply. :)
i was deadass upset! all i wanted was to own some type o negative cds :( oh well.


05.09.2020, 14:38


my cds arrived! wahoo. ill probably be purchasing the exorcist on friday.
anyway. i watched creep 2. it was very good. aaron is very relatable (excluding the fact that hes a serial killer, Uhh.)
i also watched curse of chucky. uhh, it was good i guess? im not a big fan, but i watched it because i wanted to feel scared. hmm.


09.09.2020, 08:36


happy cirno day! i didnt go to school today because im big headache.
anyway i should have updated this yesterday but!!!! i finally beat (the ultimate) doom! yeet. it was hard, ill admit, but i did it, finally. i played through all 3 episodes + thy flesh consumed because uhhh the ultimate doom babey!! thas just how it is
i also purchased doom ii! i fucking hate map 08. i blame sandy petersen (/half-joking).
anyway.
i played doom for almost 4 full hours. i came home at around 14:15, and played until around 18:02. i could not believe my eyes. though, its my fault for getting lost at some point in many of the maps, soooooo...thats on me.
at least i completed some (very few, actually) of them under the par time? thats a good thing, i THINK, because i am generally very slow when it comes to completing levels in video games.
doom is confusing. i like it


20.09.2020, 20:12


bought 2 new games - blood and wolfenstein 3d. played through all 3 episodes of doom. shit was fun.


05.10.2020


happy spooky month! been playing a lot of blood and ive been thinking a lot about dusk (2018 video game)
i cant get "my pet.......youll pay for that..........." out of my head and its bothering me but its better than having the safe touch song stuck in your head
not much has happened since i last updated


07.11.2020, 15:08


i recently stumbled upon something deeply disturbing. i dont to talk about it though.
ive been thinking about my online presence lately. ive had unmonitored internet access ever since i was like, 2, 3 years old? which probably isnt a good thing.
(tw: grooming) i used to be open to talking to other people online, but some time ago (i think when i was like 10?) i interacted with people who exhibited predatory behaviour, who would try and groom me. it was...horrible, to say the least, but i didnt really think about it much. long story short i can't talk to other people online (aside from people i know and trust) without being extremely uncomfortable lol
i want to cry


29.12.20, 19:45


i'm still alive (unfortunately)
i am not vibing i'm probably severely depressed and i literally cannot wait until i can finally isolate myself from everyone and everything


01.01.21, 22:27


HAPPY NEW YEAR
not much to write here. im listening to purity by slipknot and its p good, i am vibing :)


06.02.21, 15:57


the lead singer of the band AWS passed away yesterday, i want to cry. i started listening to them again on the day of his death. i don't know how to feel.